NFL Week 8 Power Rankings: So Much Better than ESPN, It’s Unreal

I Need a Moment…

I have a short rant to get out of the way before I reveal my rankings. ESPN apparently does not watch the NFL.

Aren’t they supposed to be the ‘worldwide leader in sports’? Then why in the world do they know so little about professional football?

Here are their Week 8 Power Rankings. Try not to puke.

  1. New England
  2. Philadelphia
  3. Kansas City
  4. Pittsburg
  5. Dallas
  6. Seattle
  7. Los Angeles Rams
  8. Minnesota
  9. Houston
  10. Oakland

That makes me so sick to my stomach that I decided to go ahead and get my rankings out there. I actually watch most NFL games, so I know what I’m talking about when I tell you who the good teams are. Mark my words.

Without further ado, here are the legitimate NFL Power Rankings for Week 8, since no one that gets paid to do this can do it properly. I hope whoever made those rankings loses their job soon. They deserve to go hungry.

 

Week 8 NFL Power Rankings

  1. Philadelphia Eagles (-)

    The Eagles are the best team in football. Carson Wentz is the MVP. They’re playing at the highest level of any team right now, and it’s not even close. People aren’t giving this team enough credit. Wentz is putting up Aaron Rodgers type numbers. He’s the future face of the NFL, and this year is his grand entrance to that stage.

  2. Los Angeles Rams (+2) LW: 4

    rams
    Best duo in the NFL? Well, besides Jay Cutler and a cigarette. Photo via zimbio.com

    This shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone that pays attention to the NFL. Jared Goff is one of the most consistent quarterbacks in the league and when you pair that with the best running back in the league (Todd Gurley), an elite offensive line and one of the best defenses in the NFL and you’ve got a legitimate Super Bowl contender. The floor for this team is a wild-card spot, but their ceiling may be as high as Super Bowl Champions. Don’t sleep on the Rams.

  3. Pittsburg Steelers (+2) LW: 5

    As bad as the Steelers have looked this year, they’re still better than most teams in the NFL. They’ve beaten Kansas City and Cincinnati in consecutive weeks, but losses to the Jaguars and Bears don’t look that great on their resume. However, they’ve got the best wide receiver in football in Antonio Brown and a top-three running back in LeVeon Bell. If Big Ben can stay healthy and play even halfway decent, this team will have a shot at the AFC title.

  4. Kansas City Chiefs (-2) LW: 2

    They’ve had a rough couple of weeks, but the Chiefs are still one of the five-best teams in the league. Alex Smith has moved from my first pick for MVP to second, but he’s still in the conversation. This team will get back on track, they’ll win the AFC West, and they’ll likely make the AFC Championship. As long as they don’t run into the Steelers in the playoffs, this team can still make a run at the Super Bowl.

  5. New England Patriots (+2) LW: 7

    THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS ARE NOT AS GOOD AS PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE. Tom Brady is the greatest to ever play the game. There is no doubt about that. But this Patriots team is nowhere near the level they were at last year when they won the Super Bowl. In fact, people are so blinded by the fact that they’re the defending champs and that they have Brady that no one is willing to admit that they aren’t that good. Sure, I have them in the top-five, but that doesn’t mean much. This is a team that has beaten the Jets (by seven), Buccaneers (by five), Texans (by three), Saints (by 16) and the awful Falcons (by 16). They lost to the Panthers and Chiefs. So, sure, their losses aren’t that bad. But outside of the Saints, they don’t have an impressive win on their resume. Their defense is worse than Cleveland’s and San Francisco’s. That sure is a winning formula.

  6. Minnesota Vikings (-) LW: 6

  7. New Orleans Saints (+5) LW: 12

    Since starting 0-2, this team has reeled off four-straight wins over the likes of the Panthers, Dolphins, Lions and Packers. Their only losses are Patriots and Vikings, which don’t look too bad on a resume. Expect more of the same from the Saints as their defense keeps improving and Drew Brees starts to find his rhythm.

  8. Seattle Seahawks (-) LW: 8

  9. Buffalo Bills (-) LW: 9

  10. Carolina Panthers (-7) LW: 3

    The Panthers just got blown out by the Bears. I don’t even know what to say. Their inconsistency will keep them from being legitimate contenders, but when they’re playing well, they’re hard to beat. When they’re not playing well, they’re nothing more than mediocre.

  11. Washington Redskins (-1) LW: 10

  12. Jacksonville Jaguars (+5) LW: 17

    bortles
    Can you believe this guy is winning football games now? Photo via si.com

    Their defense is outstanding. Blake Bortles is starting to show signs of life, and this team is on the rise.

  13. Detroit Lions (+2) LW: 15

  14. Houston Texans (+2) LW: 16

  15. Dallas Cowboys (+4) LW: 19

    rice or zeke
    When will Zeke serve his suspension? Oh wait, that’s the other wife-beating, non-female-respecting running back. Photo via nydailynews.com

    “The Cowboys are back!” No, they’re not. They beat San Francisco. What a great quality win. Yeah, they looked solid coming off of their bye week. They’re still, at best, the second-best team in a not-so-great division. They’re not a playoff team right now. If you have the Cowboys even close to your top-ten, you’re a victim of the moment *cough* ESPN *cough*.

  16. Oakland Raiders (+11) LW: 27

    The Raiders finally showed some signs of life. Derek Carr is back and playing like himself again. That’s a good sign moving forward, but let’s not hype these guys up too much just yet. They’ve still got some improvements to make before they’ll be back in the playoff race.

  17. Atlanta Falcons (-3) LW: 14

    Did anyone expect the Falcons to be so bad that they can’t even score on New England?

  18. Miami Dolphins (+5) LW: 23

    cutler
    “I have no idea how we keep winning games.” – Jay Cutler, probably. Photo via si.com

    The Dolphins keep winning. Isn’t that insane? They’ve come back from down 17-0 and 28-14 in consecutive weeks.

  19. Denver Broncos (-6) LW: 13

    To show you how bad ESPN is at making power rankings, they used to have the Broncos as the best team in the NFL over the Chiefs and Eagles. They’re barely good enough to make my top-20.

  20. Los Angeles Chargers (+8) LW: 28

  21. Green Bay (-10) LW: 11

    Without Aaron Rodgers, this team is a better version of the 49ers or Colts.

  22. Chicago Bears (+3) LW: 25

    Mitchell Trubiski keeps winning. Watch out. Sure, their defense scored two touchdowns compared to only three points by the offense, but they still beat the Carolina Panthers while only attempting seven passes. That’s pretty impressive.

  23. Baltimore Ravens (-1) LW: 22

  24. Tennessee Titans (-3) LW: 21

    Hey, congratulations. You failed to score a touchdown against the Browns and won 12-9 in overtime. Next stop, Super Bowl.

  25. Cincinnati Bengals (+1) LW: 26

  26. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-6) LW: 20

  27. Arizona Cardinals (-9) LW: 18

    Adrian Peterson looked like the Saints version of himself again this week. Carson Palmer is done for, and so are the Cardinals.

  28. New York Jets (-4) LW: 24

  29. New York Giants (+1) LW: 30

  30. Cleveland Browns (+2) LW: 32

    USP NFL: SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS AT CLEVELAND BROWNS S FBN USA OH
    The unluckiest man in football. Joe Thomas had to play 10,363 consecutive snaps for the Browns over 11 seasons. Photo via usatoday.com

    They’re not dead last! Losing in overtime is better than losing in regulation, right?

  31. Indianapolis Colts (-2) LW: 29

    Is Andrew Luck back yet?

  32. San Francisco 49ers (-1) LW: 31

    Colin Kaepernick took this team to the Super Bowl, but he’s obviously not as good as Brian Hoyer, right?

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